Junior Seau Dead.....Suicide...Touches home with me

Former All-Pro NFL linebacker Junior Seau was found dead today in his California home. Police are calling it a suicide, which might shock some considering the fact that Seau is beloved figure by a lot of people. Seau reportedly shot himself in the chest. 



I for one have never met Mr. Seau and I'm sure there will be a lot of people commenting on this situation that have no idea about depression and other mental illnesses. I am in no way a psychologist, nor do I pretend to be. Nor do I have any idea what was going on in Seau's life or mind. 


For some of us who work for everything we have and look at a guy like him who had money, fame, and love, we can sit there and call him selfish. A lot of people will say that Seau had everything a man could want.


These "things" don't create happiness. Material things create an illusion of satisfaction. If you fell depressed a bunch of money and material things might make you numb or "happy" temporarily, but they won't cure your broken heart in the long run. 


No matter what you accomplish in life, no matter how many "things" you have, depression is a real enemy to the mind and a a real serious disease. Depression can make the best situation seem meaningless and unsatisfying. 


I for one should no all about this. I have been diagnosed with depression since I can remember. Depression is heritary and it runs in my family. My whole life I have been obsessed with the afterlife and dying. For most of my life I have let my dark emotions get the best of me. 


Depression has caused me to think illogically at times and do things that I would have never normally have done. Depression has helped me drive away people that I have loved. Depression has interfered in my past relationships, especially with my latest ex-girlfriend. She even tried to help me and I pushed her away.


When you suffer from depression you feel like you're never good enough deep down inside, even when you have the intelligence, strength, and talent to accomplish anything you want. I've always been my own worst enemy, anyone that knows me will tell you that. I push people away for no reason. It's just the way it is. 

All of that being said I still do things to help myself. I do things I love, like this blog, playing hockey, and other hobbies of mine. Not saying Seau didn't do that, I mean he played football for a living. But maybe he was missing something that we dont' know about. Maybe what was going on his life was too  much for him to take. 

I do feel like he is selfish because he had kids. I would never EVER be able to leave this Earth on my own will if I had children. I don't and I still feel like I have things to live for, even if it's things that are in my future that I do not know about yet. 

I have hit Rock Bottom a few times in my life. I have tried to commit suicide a few times, and threatened it a bunch of times. I've cried for no reason, I have turned to alcohol and drugs, and have lashed out. 

I can say that every time I thought about killing myself I thought about things that I may miss out on. Things that I never got to experience. I also thought about the people that I would never get to see again. It's not the right thing to do. 

Now Seau is gone, and sure he might not be hurting anymore, but he's given all of his anguish in life to his family, who I just saw crying on national television. There is no winner here. 

If you know anyone that is having or has had thoughts do something to help them. Take them out, talk to them, show them a good time, or offer to help them get "real" help.


My thougths in prayers go out to Seau's family and everyone across the Earth that is suffering from a mental illness, or has someone that is a family or friend that is suffering from one.