What the fuck is upmother fuckers? It's your boy Jeremy FUCKING Meals!
PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
Zbynek Michalek will be out 4 to 6 weeks with a broken penis after he attempted to block a shot with a blender grinding on his crotch region.
Can the Pens catch a break injurywise? There has to be some curse or something on them... Michalek out with a broken finger, Crosby still out with a concussion, and now Tyler Kennedy is out indefinitely with a concussion.
Seriously, James Neal is hung like a horse. He can impregnate half of Pittsburgh's college-aged women... I have proof also that Mark Letestu blows goats.
Rico Fata is renting his Fata Home in sunny southern Florida! Apparently his wife does not come with the rental but for an extra $20 you can fuck her.
SAFE/UNSAFE
Richard Park's Teeth... Seriously... I think he's on crystal meth. That junk is fucking disgusting. It makes Mike Drakulich look like a fucking hot-ass porn star........................UNSAFE!
PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Fuck them!!! The last time I fucking cared about the Buccos my brother fucked them in the anus HARD!
Al Martin became mormon and is now fucking three wives and a sheep.
SAFE/UNSAFE
Spanky Lavalliere fucking Oliver the Pierogie and a meat grinder... SAFE!!!
PITTSBURGH STEELERS
The Steelers have their biggest challenge of the season when they face UGG Boots Salesman, Tom Brady.
Brady always fucking kills us. He rapes the Steelers more than Big Ben rapes country bumpkins in Georgia.
SAFE/UNSAFE
ANY FUCKING GUY WHO WEARS FUCKING UGGS NEEDS PISSED ON!
GO STILLERS!
Edit: Hey, I'm sick of seeing people on twitter fighting over each others blogs... That shit is fucking gay!
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